dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
