We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
Randomize
