i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
Randomize
