She's JV to your varsity
Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
