oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
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