margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Randomize
