My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
