did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
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