"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
And the cops told us we were all naked.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
