dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Randomize
