dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
