You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Randomize
