I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Randomize
