i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
