The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
are you so shy because you have an std?
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize
