D3 body, D1 cock
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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