He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
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