Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
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