Your tits are I can't wait for
he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Randomize
