So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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