oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
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