We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
don't judge my taste in strippers
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
Randomize
