she is the kim kardashian of front butts
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
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