What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Randomize
