Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
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