My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
honey bunches of taint.
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
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