this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Randomize
