Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
We are all done wearing pants today
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
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