I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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