She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Randomize
