Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
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