the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
Randomize
