Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
He felt like a one man threesome
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
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