I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Randomize
