I didn't shave. On purpose
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Randomize
