I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize
