Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Someone came in the potted fern
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Randomize
