so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
Randomize
