I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
