When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
