I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
