Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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