we have officially lost it.
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Randomize
