Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
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