god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
