ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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