i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
you had me at cake vodka
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Randomize
