It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
