on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
