More tranny stories later!
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
